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...which is an autoimmune disorder that causes hypothyroidism, which basically explains all my health issues lately. At the very least, I'm on the recovery trail - I've had the official diagnosis since December, and even had a biopsy (which involved them sticking a needle into my neck, which was interesting to say the least since I was numbed but awake). I ended up drawing a little infographic thing regarding what Hashimoto's is:
Hashimoto"s full
So there you are, that's a health update.

Anyhow, I've started graduate school at Pratt now (and absolutely love it - I'm finally learning how to be an archivist at the School of Library and Information Science there), so I'm extra-busy. I've gotten work done on The Historians up through May, so I don't need to worry about that, but I've got Home By Now scripts to write and Comedian Heaven, a new project, to get off the ground, so I'll definitely be creatively occupied!

The Historians has a full plot now, so all I have to do at this point is write the scripts and draw pages for several years. I'm suspiciously organized lately when it comes to my creative work - Londinium has a full five-book plot now, and The Historians just needs to be scripted and drawn. The more organized I am, the more projects I'll be able to take on at once, after all!

What's happening to me?

I've started writing a script for Anything But Quiet on the Western Front. A real script.

This story is actually happening now. It's been in my head since I was a junior in high school. I'm not fully sure how this happened, but this is being written and will therefore soon be drawn.

I can't believe that I'm actually writing these things I thought I'd dream about writing but would never actually make happen. I'm just...really happy with myself for doing this.

All I do is write...

My brother was home for the weekend from college because he needed to de-stress. When you're studying engineering, that's occasionally necessary. It was really, really nice to have him home for a bit. I miss him already.

Hurricane Sandy is now closing in on my part of the country. Although I won't be taking the brunt of her force, I know plenty of people who will be and I'm worried about all of them. Stay safe, guys! Don't do anything rash!

I got all of my required art done before the storm comes through because there's a chance I could lose power here. I'm now sitting here doing all sorts of different writing exercises because at the very least writing keeps me busy when there's no power to be had. I have a tendency to do Londinium-related things when there's no power because it gets me in the proper mood to write about pre-electrical time periods. Then again, I've got about ten different writing projects going on right now, so who knows what I'll end up turning out at this rate...

I've been extremely sleepy for the past month and a half, too, and according to my doctor my thyroid levels are low, which may be due to stress. I've had an insane month and a half and it's worn me down, and this gives me an explanation for my fatigue over this period. I kept falling back asleep in the mornings for reasons I couldn't quite explain since I generally don't need much sleep, so to know what's going on is a relief. I'm glad it's not something like lupus (especially since every time I had that thought I heard Hugh Laurie berating me in my head), but this is still something I can't take lightly. I'll probably be on some medication for it. I'm just waiting for my doctor to get back to me - which probably won't be until after the hurricane, go figure. So there's that.

I should probably go back to writing and drawing things now since I still have power here and can see...

So I wrote a lot of notes today...

I have spent the better part of today actually working on Anything But Quiet On The Western Front.

I have no idea whatsoever as to why or what prompted this, but I'm fairly excited that I'm figuring things out and moving forward with that. I'm still fully planning for Londinium to be released first, of course, but I'm going to do a timeline from which I'm going to actually write a full script for an entire story. And then I will eventually draw this story over time, but it's going to take a lot of patience. Like, a ton, really.

But you know what? I think I can do it. I really believe that.

The Historians is going swimmingly, by the way - it's on its first true arc now and I've posted 11 pages so far. There's going to be quite a bit more because it's an 8-page script and I've just gotten onto page 3 of said script with that, but it's coming along nicely and is getting some site hits pretty much every day, which is reassuring. You can go read it if you like and tell me what you think - I'm of the opinion that it's forced me to improve and challenge myself as an artist!

I keep forgetting I have an LJ and that is a really rotten habit that I need to kick.
This will make sense to only a few people, but just so you know, Ells still has her Mini, and she now calls it Francis.

Icon is semi-relevant (really, I just like looking at Richard Hammond, so it actually isn't).

I'm being stupid...

I didn't think I'd be writing this, but my social anxiety has reared its ugly head again over the past week or so. I keep getting scared that everything I'm saying makes people upset and that they're all angry at me and avoiding me or trying not to talk to me because I'm offensive and bad.

I really don't know what's gotten into me, because I rationally know this isn't true. Maybe it's because I'm afraid I'm going to mess up my tour guide job at the church. I just don't know what's wrong. I need to just calm down and set my head straight.

On Sunday, though, I get to drive an Acura ILX before anyone else does, which is exciting. I'm going to Top Gear the hell out of this because I'm a total loser, but it's going to be loads of fun! Also, Dad watches Top Gear with me now and he was dying watching them try to drive the amphibious cars across the English Channel. If you're not watching this show, you need to be now because it's flawless. BBC America every Monday, people.

I've seen 87 episodes and have 60 left to go. That's really, really nerdy, but I'm trying to get through all of them before Series 19 starts next year. Yep.

tl;dr Social anxiety sucks and Top Gear doesn't.

This is the most useless update ever

Worked on my redraft of Londinium today. Charlie and Robert are becoming friends in said redraft. This is an unexpected development, but it's a strangely cute friendship so far.

This has been a public service announcement.

I've been thinking too much...

Today in therapy I had a nice, long talk with my therapist about how far I've come in terms of accepting myself. I've finally started seeing myself as pretty when I look in the mirror and I've started to take care of myself physically as well (namely because I don't like being sick, but also so I look presentable at work and in my daily life). There's one thing about myself that I'm still struggling with, though, which I realized this week.

I'm still unable to rationalize that any guy would find me attractive.

I can tell myself that I'm pretty and smart and fun to be around and enjoy things that would make bonding with guys easy for me, but I can't shake those feelings from my childhood just yet. I was made fun of primarily by boys, not girls, growing up. It made me a stigmatized object once I got older - no one would want to date "that girl" because they'd be made fun of. Now I'm confident in myself, know I'm pretty and dress like an adult - a somewhat modest adult, albeit, because I'm not a showy person - but I just don't know how to project that and get men to approach me. I'm unfortunately way too shy to go up to them myself, which doesn't help, but how do you attract people to you? I don't know how to do that.

I also don't know how to flirt, either, but that's because there isn't a single sexy bone in my body (I'm more on the 'cute' side of the equation, if anything). That doesn't help anything, either.

tl;dr Steph feels unattractive because she doesn't know how to attract the opposite sex and she's ready to try to do so because she thinks she might be able to talk to boys without chickening out and running really quickly in the opposite direction now.

This has been a stupid venting thingy.

Also, things I remembered I had: this.


I was going to submit this to fandomsecrets back in my senior year of high school/freshman year of college and I never did. The fact is that I both chickened out and figured that very few people would know who Dudley was, so I ended up never sending it in. True story, though: this is the reason I came to terms with being 5'2". I always felt self-conscious about being small because I couldn't reach things, didn't have a model build and had taller people picking on me growing up, but I accepted it because he managed to do just fine with it. Thanks for that, Dud. You're the best. ♥
Life's been pretty busy lately, to be honest. It's rare that I get a moment to sit down (except on Mondays because Mondays are Top Gear days and nobody is allowed to interrupt me on Mondays). I've gotten some stuff done, though, which is exciting!

The Historians has a blog on its site now! I'll announce news related to the stupid comic there (and then probably repeat it here and on Tumblr because nobody reads the stupid comic anyways). I'm just really excited that I managed to get the thing to work. Wordpress is so beyond easy.

Also, I lost a ton of sleep last night. I couldn't fall asleep until at least half-past 4 am. Why? My corpsing kink surfaced its ugly head and kept me awake reading stuff and watching videos and the like. It's funny...I was thinking about it, and there's evidence that I had this kink from as early as 7th grade. I always liked seeing the serious people finally lose it and start laughing. I didn't realize it until 12th grade, though, when I had more understanding of myself...and these two gave me butterflies:



They absolutely kill me in every possible way ever. They're even the quote on the TV Tropes page for corpsing. Sometimes I forget how much I love them, and then I go and rewatch something they did and it just melts me and makes me flail and blush stupidly and there's even a part of me that ships it like burning. And then? Londinium gets written. It's their dynamic that inspired the one Basil and Dustin have now and I get all happy on the inside whenever I'm writing a scene where Basil and Dustin end up losing it at a really bad time/at 2 am after writing something inappropriate/after trying to make each other lose it in public because it has a basis in something I love so beyond much.

Also, I don't submit things to kink memes, but if I did, this would so be something I'd submit because there's something so stupidly attractive to me about grown men giggling helplessly. I don't even know why it's a thing for me, but it gives me butterflies like nothing else and I'm more likely to fall for a boy if he's got a cute laugh, especially if he loses it at bad times.

Icon is the relevantest of relevant. Yes, I just made up the word 'relevantest.'

Oh! Almost forgot that there's this, too. JAMES MAY WINS THE UNIVERSE IN TAKE THREE.

EVERYTHING IS PERFECT AND NOTHING HURTS

I went for my first job training session today...and I really, really liked it. I'm super-excited about finally having some sort of work, and it's even better considering I'm happy with it! (I'll be a tour guide here part-time.)

I'm also completely healthy again, which is a huge relief. I was so mad about being sick for two or three days just because it's so annoying when you get one of those mini-illnesses and it derails you. I get angry about being sick in general, but after having that month where I was almost constantly sick earlier this year (that ended with me regaining my health and then getting a concussion) any sign of illness lately makes me ridiculously livid because I lost so much time on stuff back then.

Oh! In absolutely adorable news, the Hammonds put TG the dog on Twitter. I'm serious. Mindy (Richard's wife) is typing for her. It's the cutest thing EVER. (Also, from this I have learned that the Hammonds also have five cats. APPROVED, YOU LOVELY PEOPLE.)

Hammond also tweeted this image out earlier (although he mentioned that Mindy has nothing to do with it, although he could be being sarcastic, so I don't know), and it's so incredibly adorable that I have to put it here because...yes. Just yes.


I can't. I just can't. TOO ADORABLE, YOU TWO.

Basically, I'm healthy again and I have work, so I'm happy, and this picture is perfect, so I'm super-happy Ni Hao, Kai-Lan style. Yay!

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Steph, The World's Nerdiest Sportswriter
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