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I'm being stupid...

I didn't think I'd be writing this, but my social anxiety has reared its ugly head again over the past week or so. I keep getting scared that everything I'm saying makes people upset and that they're all angry at me and avoiding me or trying not to talk to me because I'm offensive and bad.

I really don't know what's gotten into me, because I rationally know this isn't true. Maybe it's because I'm afraid I'm going to mess up my tour guide job at the church. I just don't know what's wrong. I need to just calm down and set my head straight.

On Sunday, though, I get to drive an Acura ILX before anyone else does, which is exciting. I'm going to Top Gear the hell out of this because I'm a total loser, but it's going to be loads of fun! Also, Dad watches Top Gear with me now and he was dying watching them try to drive the amphibious cars across the English Channel. If you're not watching this show, you need to be now because it's flawless. BBC America every Monday, people.

I've seen 87 episodes and have 60 left to go. That's really, really nerdy, but I'm trying to get through all of them before Series 19 starts next year. Yep.

tl;dr Social anxiety sucks and Top Gear doesn't.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
ecl1958
Aug. 4th, 2012 06:42 pm (UTC)
I can totally relate about the social anxiety and being worried about how you come across to others. One thing to remember is that very often when people don't respond in a positive manner when you're trying to interact with them...it's actually NOT related to you, it's related to stuff they've got going on in their own heads -- preoccupations or worries that have NOTHING to do with you. Thus, their reactions need not be taken personally.

Real-life example: Several times over the past few months when I've run into my crush interest he's acted sort of annoyed or "flat," for lack of a better word. Well, this summer I had the opportunity to talk to him at length several times, and we discussed both some past interactions as well as his demeanor during present-day encounters. Without exception, his flatness/annoyed demeanor had nothing to do with me. He needed to clock back in after break, he wasn't feeling well, he had other stuff on his mind, etc. There were even a few times where I checked in with him at the time that these demeanor issues were going on, and asked if I was annoying him or if he wanted me to leave, and he said no, I was fine. My guess is if you had a chance to talk to the people who you suspect are upset or angry...you'd find the same is true of them. :)

Also, excited for you about your test drive. How did you receive this coveted opportunity?
1863_project
Aug. 6th, 2012 01:34 am (UTC)
I actually made a full recovery after therapy this past Tuesday - it turns out the exaggerated anxiety was coming from me ignoring all of the signs of an oncoming Asperger's sensory overload! I did too much work and social things without resting myself and getting alone time and the stress just overloaded me, augh!

Klout! Here it is if you want to sign up: www.klout.com
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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